“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be” (Psalm 139:13-16, NIV).
I liked this. Thought I would post it here.
January 6, 2008 at 3:29 pm (confusion, d&c, family, life, loss, miscarriage, ttc, Uncategorized)
my quest for that perfect momento…..
January 2, 2008 at 8:40 pm (confusion, d&c, family, life, loss, miscarriage, ttc)
Since my loss, I have had this desire to find something to help remember and celebrate the baby. I don’t want something that is “in your face” about the fact that we lost one. I want something special and subtle to me. I have been searching online to find a nice charm or necklace or similar but have yet to find “it”.
I hope I can find something suitable.
this sucks.
December 13, 2007 at 5:37 pm (confusion, family, life, loss, love, pain, ttc)
Linkin Park’s lyrics: “Sometimes beginnings aren’t so simple. Sometimes goodbye’s the only way….” Well, this sucks. Maybe true but it still sucks.
Lets start at the beginning. After months of ttc #3, and dealing with super long and irregular cycles, the doc decided to help. The plan was to use provera to induce my period then try clomid for months- hopefully resulting in pregnancy. I was to come back in 1 week to get a beta hcg before beginning provera. To our surprise, I was pregnant!! Yay! Hcg level of 2791! Excellent! Had my first OB appointment scheduled for 11/29/07 w/ an ultrasound to accurately date the pregnancy. (with cycles that greatly vary it is necessary). How exciting, right?
Nov. 29 rolls around and I go to my appointment. During the ultra sound, the technician kept asking if I had any bleeding, cramping, etc. I answered no to all of these and asked why I couldn’t see the “baby” on the screen. She responded by telling me, “the dr. will talk to you”. Not what I wanted to hear. The doc came in and told me it could be 1 or 3 things: 1) simply to early to see much . 2) an ectopic (or tubal) pregnancy. 3) a blighted ovum.
I was to come back in 1 week for another u/s and do repeat betas in the mean time (watching for the number to double). My beta on 11/29 came back at over 74,000. This was pretty good but being that the previous one was 2 weeks prior, we had to “wait and see”. Oh great…
Six days later, I’m back for a repeat beta and u/s. The u/s shows growth, yolk sac, and what they think is fetal pole! This is wonderful news to me! Beta comes back at over 88,000. So, it did not double but, it went up. Doctor said he was “Cautiously Optimistic”.
Repeat Beta two days later: over 89,000. Still rising but obviously not even close to doubling. Oh, and pink spotting for a very brief period of time followed by brown cm. (TMI I know but hey, it comes with the ttc/pregnancy territory). Put on pelvic rest.
Final ultrasound on December 11. Very little growth and what they thought was fetal pole at last appt. is now smaller. Doctor now is concerned that not only is this not a viable pregnancy, but with my numbers still rising as they are that it may become cancerous and spread to other parts of my body (ie: lungs, brain). He strongly recommends a d&c on Monday (12/17) followed by close monitoring of my hcg levels. If they continue to rise after the d&c, this will signify that it has already spread and we will then discuss what to do to get me healthy again.
Who knew that trying to add to our family could lead to all this. I’m sad that this baby will not be. I’m angry with this whole situation. I know I need this d&c. My body is not doing it on it’s own and the risks are to great to just”wait and see”. As I already stated, “Sometimes beginnings aren’t so simple. Sometimes goodbye’s the only way….”
i know her secret!!!
August 24, 2007 at 2:22 pm (confusion, family, life, love, Uncategorized)
My beautiful pregnant sister has told our older sister and myself the gender of her baby. We have been sworn to secrecy. Not even my husband knows. I’m so happy for her!!
My husband came upstairs while I was editing some pictures or her belly, with a certain colored ribbon around it, and if he paid any attention he could have figured it out. Well being of the male gender, he pays little attention to small detail and is still clueless. Heck, he doesn’t even know I know!!
Tricia actually told us the gender by tying a ribbon around her belly (pink for girl/ blue for boy) of the appropriate color and having us turn around for the reveal. It was so cool. She was so happy, we were ecstatic! Everyone else will find out on the invites to the baby shower. I will post the gender on my blog at that time!!! September 20 the invites go out…
I wish my sister was able to share this all with Jimmy. I know he is watching down on her and his unborn baby. He’s probably loving how tricky Tricia has to be to keep this a big secret. Her smile, oh how I’ve missed it, when revealing this to us, has forever left an impression in my heart.
I’d be p.o.’ed!!
June 18, 2007 at 4:19 am (childhood, family, life, news, Uncategorized)
Toddler Served Margarita in a Sippy Cup
ANTIOCH, Calif. (AP) – Kim Mayorga was confused when her 2-year-old started making funny faces and pushing away the apple juice he had ordered at Applebee’s. The explanation came when she opened the lid of the sippy cup and was hit by the smell of tequila and Triple Sec.
The restaurant staff accidentally gave Julian Mayorga a margarita Monday. He grew drowsy and started vomiting a few hours later and was rushed to the hospital.
“I wasn’t going to make a big deal about it,” the mother told the Contra Costa Times on Thursday, “but then he got sick.”
The apple juice and margarita mix were stored in identical plastic bottles, and the manager mistakenly grabbed the margarita container to pour the boy’s drink, said Randy Tei, vice president for Apple Bay East Inc., which owns the franchise restaurant and nine other Applebee’s in the San Francisco Bay area.
The Mayorgas will be reimbursed for their medical bills, and Tei said the franchise group’s restaurants will no longer serve apple juice and margaritas in similar containers.
“We absolutely believe it was an honest mistake,” Tei said.
The serving appeared to have been accidental, Antioch police Lt. Pat Welch said. Mayorga said her son is now doing fine.
She said the company has been very apologetic and offered free meals, but she added, “If they think I’m going back there, they’re ridiculous.”
What would you do if this were your child in this situation? I for one would do more than not go back to that restaurant. While I understand that accidents do happen, one like this is completely preventable and it shouldn’t have taken something like this to change the way they store these to completely different drink requests.
Which hurts worse physical pain or cruelty by others?
June 15, 2007 at 2:49 pm (childhood, family, life, pain, Uncategorized)
My sweet little girl recently pulled the baby gate down on herself thus slamming her head on the hardwood floors and the gate into her mouth. This resulted in a premature visit from the Tooth Fairy at the innocent age of 17 months 1 day. Ouch, Right?
This unfortunate event has got me thinking about others reactions to her missing a tooth until most likely 5 or 6. It is bad enough she had to endure losing a tooth in quite a painful way. Will other children notice this and tease her? Maybe, maybe not. Their parents will probably notice as will overs we meet. Kids are mean, but adults can be worse. She is a beautiful, kind hearted, soft spoken person. I hope that will not be tainted by unnecessary comments or double takes.
pray for baby kaleb!
June 7, 2007 at 8:32 pm (childhood, family, life, pain, Uncategorized)
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm…id=197 879646
This is sad. Check it out if you have myspace and a minute. I don’t know these people but I got the link to their site in a myspace bulletin.
Here is a little from a blog entry on the site explaining the story:
Hello everyone…
I write you this message in grief in faith.
My son Kaleb was rushed by ambulance to the emergency room on Wed. after we picked him up from the babysitters house. At UCH they determined that Kaleb had a SubDural Hematoma (His brain is bleeding). He then was Bayflighted (helicopter) to Tampa General Hospitals Pediatric Intensive Care Unit on a Trauma Alert.
Doctors determined that Kaleb was shaken while at the homecare he goes to. He is suffering from Shaking Baby Syndrome.
When we first arrived at the hospital they put a pressure gage into his head to moniter the Intercranial Pressure (The pressure that the brain is under due to swelling and Bleeding). He wasn’t doing too well all day yesterday, his pressure in his head was ranging between 29-40 and the normal pressure is between 5-20. So doctors decided that the best thing to do was to put a tube into his brain to drain spinal fluid from his ventricle. This procedure was a sucess and brought the pressure down.
Today however, they did a Cat Scan and saw that Kaleb is now suffering from a stroke and has formed a new bleed in the brain.
I beleive in Miralcles! I believe that prayer works. I am asking you, all of my friends, whether you know me well or not to PLEASE pray for my little boy Kaleb. He needs a miracle and we need your help!
I know some of you may not believe in God… But he exists! And he’s already performed one miracle. Please I ask you, I beg you, to Pray for my little boy and my family. He is my everything.
the lie we were all told..
May 26, 2007 at 5:18 pm (family, life, Uncategorized)
Growing up, we are taught that unprotected sex = baby. We are told to abstain from sex til married or we would be living the most miserable existence nine months later. We were taught that instead of dances and bowling we’d have diapers and bottles. In fact, I’m pretty sure a number of Lifetime movies were made on that same premise. The majority of us told chose not to listen. And while there were a few girls every year who became pregnant, we learned that sex doesn’t always lead to pregnancy.
Being that there is only a 12-24 hour window each cycle where an egg can be fertilized, the fact that there are any babies born truly is astounding. It is actually frustrating when trying to conceive knowing this fact. It is hard to grasp that even when the conditions for conception are ideal, there is only like a 25% chance it will occur. So honestly, should we have been told the truth about fertility growing up? Why was a scare tactic used instead of the facts?
montage of mommy’s day memories…..
May 14, 2007 at 3:53 pm (childhood, family, life, Uncategorized)
Lets see….
Mother’s Day 2004- I went into labor and had my older daughter. Pretty cool really! Well beside all the pain and pushing.
2005- While pregnant with daughter#2, my younger sister handcuffed me to her as a joke not knowing that they were not fake and there was no key. Three hours and a swollen and bruised wrist later, I was free.
2006- My husband didn’t get me anything because “Your not my mom, the girls are supposed to get you something”. Gee honey, they’re babies!!!
2007- We had the great pleasure of being pulled over by small town cops on the way to my grandmother’s house- one hour later, with $75 less dollars in the bank, for having a tinted license plate cover. What a joke!
Ah, Mother’s Day and the sweet memories it always bring. I can’t wait to see what adventures I will endure next year.
