February 28, 2008 at 2:59 am (clomid, d&c, loss, miscarriage, pain, ttc)
Finally on cd20 I believe I am ovulating! Thank you clomid!! It is so crazy that one can get so excited about this. I never had to go thru any measures w/ my girls. I don’t get it at all. I’ve heard it said that it will happen in it’s time but I don’t buy that crap for a minute. I had it, it died and I want it back.
Wow, thats the first time I’ve acknowledged that really. It is soooooo much easier “pretending” I was never pregnant, never lost it, never had a d&c. I’m doing alright but I’ll never forget the emotions, tears, angst I felt no matter how hard I try. It happened. It forever changed me. It’s about time I start being honest with myself.
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February 24, 2008 at 10:20 pm (clomid, d&c, loss, miscarriage, ttc, Uncategorized)
I thought I was in the clear w/ the clomid side effects.. Evidently, I was incorrect. I get been so hot I almost sweat. My body temp is actually up like 2 degrees more this cycle than normal. And I am getting headaches daily for the last week. I was hoping to ovulated by the doc’s projected time frame but apparently my body is stubborn. 8 days after the last pill and still no O. I’m wondering if 50mgs isn’t enough and the doc may need to up it. Of course then the side effects will be terrible…..
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February 13, 2008 at 4:35 pm (clomid, d&c, life, miscarriage, ttc)
Well, a new chapter begins. I have successfully defeated my doctors stubbornness and he has written me a 3 month prescription for 50mg of clomid. I began taking it on cd5 (yesterday) and so far so good, and by that I mean not side effects. We will see how much that changes after the next subsequent pills. Hopefully this takes me from my not so normal 40-60 day cycles to maybes a normal say 28 day cycle or so. We will soon find out…………
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January 6, 2008 at 3:29 pm (confusion, d&c, family, life, loss, miscarriage, ttc, Uncategorized)
“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be” (Psalm 139:13-16, NIV).
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January 2, 2008 at 8:40 pm (confusion, d&c, family, life, loss, miscarriage, ttc)
Since my loss, I have had this desire to find something to help remember and celebrate the baby. I don’t want something that is “in your face” about the fact that we lost one. I want something special and subtle to me. I have been searching online to find a nice charm or necklace or similar but have yet to find “it”.
I hope I can find something suitable.
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December 18, 2007 at 11:06 pm (confusion, d&c, life, loss, miscarriage, ttc, Uncategorized)
I know it was medically necessary to have the d&c. My body was not going to do it naturally. Being a molar/potentially cancerous nature it needed to be done asap. My #’s were not rising as they should have (yet were very high) and I had some spotting. No growth, no heartbeat, no 100% confirmed fetal sac. I get it but I still get moments where I wonder, what if it would have been okay. I understand it wouldn’t have been but I can’t shake the “what if”.
When and how does this go away?
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