Oct 15th approaching

I have the baby finally here forever but cannot and dont want to forget the ones who i lost along the way. It was a dark time for me and changes me in ways for the better and not so much.

M/c # 1- “ryder” i have no ultrasound pics are anything to hold on to the memory of you but when you died, the innocence of pregnancy faded for me.

M/c #2 “daytona baby” we were so sure lightning wouldnt strike twice. I have 3 pics from one ultrasound. Chromosonal analysis told us you were a precious little girl.

M/c #3 Third times the charm for some but not us. You made it the longest out of the 3 angels but you were just to perfect for this world i suppose. I remember the dr crying with me with the news you werent going to survive. I do have ultrasound photos from my anniversary where you were strong and growing and thriving beautifully. Thats what i want to remember of you.

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Just found my old blog and wow.

Crazy to think that my last post was so long ago. I felt so defeated and i never want to go back there, yet it is an awakening reminder of all i went thru to have Cooper. Yup! I ended up pregnant on our own within a month of my laparascopy to diagnose endometriosis (stage 2-3). Pregancy was full of complications and was put on bed rest twice but none of that matters because we delivered Cooper on Dec 7, 2010. 1 year and 2 days after my last post about giving up. He is perfect and takes the sting off of everything before him. Scars will always remain and remind you of the battles but without the battle, that painful induring fight, the victory could never feel as sweet.

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