Sept. of 08 was my last post here. Geesh. I need to refocus this blog and refocus some things in my life. I am currently taking a break form all the infertility crap, well you can’t really tab from it all the way in reality but I am currently unmedicated. I am unsure of the future, as is everyone else in the universe, and I am actually ok with it. I am going with the flow.
In the last year since my last post, I started injectibles (gonal-F) with IUI and successfully became pregnant my first cycle, in Feb. 09. I had seen the heartbeat on the ultrasound and truly thought that all would be well. Not so. A week after seeing the heartbeat, the baby had stopped growing and the heart had stopped. I had another d&c that day- March30. The pathology and chromosomal analysis came back normal. It was a baby girl.
I took the next cycle off as recommended and started back with the injectibles with TI. To my suprise I got pregnant again. Yay! Finally, I’ll have my baby. All is going well. Weekly u/s shows healthy growing baby. Strong heartbeat seen. Taking baby aspirin, fish oil, prenatal, b-vitamin, estrodiol, injectable progesterone, lovenox. What could go wrong? Rigggggght… I’m sure you see where this is going? Another m/c. I opted to m/c naturally this time. It was terrible. Wish I would have had another d&c. I still feel traumatized from it.
Desperately tried the next few cycles to get pregnant but it hadn’t happened. I have recently been diagnosed with PCOS- I am not at all surprised by this, it makes perfect sense. I am on metformin and it is the devil but my cycles seem to be regulating themselves and I have lost some weight. Thats good, I guess. As for the rest, I have decided there must be some kind of reason for all of this. Even if I cannot see it now, there has to be a greater purpose…. I am leaving it up to the stars for now. Que Sera, Sera….
That is where I was and who knows where I will go… Only time will tell.
