Busy Cycle. Tough Cycle.

So, this cycle has consisted of 50mg of clomid cd3-7. An ultrasound on Sept3 to check follicle sizes and only one was decent and it was only 14. There were many more in the range of 5-8. The us tech also noted that my lining was about 5mm instead of at least 7-8. She also asked if anyone had ever mentioned pcos in regards to my ovaries. I told her no, my old doc actually disregarded it when I brought up the possibility before.
Nurse comes in to discuss what happens next and mentions the possibility of injectables for next cycle and wanted to know how we felt about iui’s. She said while dh’s SA came back overall normal there were a few things in it to note. Apparently, dh’s sperm motility goes from fast to slow-possibly a result from his allergy meds which dries up the semen so the sperm cant swim as well. His semen ph is also elevated at 9.
So the doc should be calling anytime now to discuss what our next steps should be for this cycle. We can either take the 1 follie and run w/ it or forget that one any try to get some of the others to grow more
The only positive note is that my weight has decreased by about 10 lbs since my last appointment! Yay for that, I guess….

I went for another u/s on sept 5 and u/s showed the follie was mature and my lining grew from 5 to 10 in 2 days!!! I got my HCG trigger! They also want dh to take 1t of robitussin 1/2 hour before intercourse. And to bd that night and the following. I also have 3 scripts to start taking as of Sunday to keep me pregnant should the egg get fertilized- prometrium-200mg at 2pm, estradiol2mg twice per day, and progesterone suppositories-200mg twice per day (my progesterone was only 1 last time they checked after O). And beta/progesterone check in 15 days(9-22) !!!

Welp, progesterone suppositories suck terribly. They are messy. I call deal with those. Its the prometrium that gets me. It makes me dizzy as all else. So bad actually, that my vision gets blurry, my works slur a bit and I feel out of it. The docs office said I can swap my second suppository (usually taken at night) with the 2pm prometrium and see if that helps. I just want 9-22 to get here.

My Hysterosalpingogram (Hsg)

All my labs on cd 3 were normal as was dh’s sa. Dr did a beta and LH on cd 39- beta was negative as expected (I haven’t O’d this cycle) and I was told my other levels were up but “flat” so we will do the hsg soon instead of waiting til cd 7,8,9 next cycle since I am nowhere near O’ing anyhow.

Yes, it was painful but not as bad as I thought so that was good. My left tube wasn’t filling so doc pushed a little more fluid thru and that flushed it all out. So all is clear and good to go now!! Yayay!

I started provera as I was like cycle day 17million now (ok more like 45 but whatever) w/ no O in sight. I start Clomid once again this next cycle. I my doc!

I have 2 provera pills left then the wait is on for AF…… I am sick of this cycle. Seriousy, I am on cd 53 today. UUUgggh!

I found this on a website and it just hit home and instantly brought tears to my eyes.

“Every soul that comes into this world comes here with a very specific mission. When that mission is completed, the soul can leave. The holiest of souls need so little time here in this world that some never even make it outside the womb, others only need their heart to beat once, others not even that.”

Still not pregnant But now have a plan:

Well, my new doc, dr. holden, seems confident it will be an easy fix to get me and keep me pg. That is great news. The man is such a character, too!! He said he was originally going to school to be a neurosurgeon but when his wife and he were ttc they struggled to get and stay pg. He was drawn from there to be like “santa claus” and give people the baby they longed for.

Anyways, my plan:
Call on cd 1 (or by monday if af doesn’t show) If no af, then beta will be done.
~If + then Progesterone and Estrogen levels checked ASAP as he suspects this is why I m/c’ed in December.
~If – then I will take provera for 10 days to induce period
CD2 (or 3) bloodwork: AM+fasting
Cd7,8,or 9 he wants an HSG check and check for clear tubes and uterus

All dh has to do is insert his “lil men” into a cup for a SA. (Dr. doesn’t think he is the problem but still wants it ruled out).

Once we have the results back, we go from there. Doc thinks it will be an easy fix as both my girls were conceived after going off the pill and he said that sends a strong signal to the ovaries and can actually lead to multiples. (thats why dr’s recommend waited 3 months before ttc after the pill). He thinks some hormone levels need a little tweaking to convince my body I am ready to be pg again. He also categorized me as suffering from Secondary Infertility. (I knew this but still hate hearing it. I’d rather stay blissfully unaware of the title)

If you read all this, bless ya!!  I’m excited to have a plan and a confident doc!!

everything you never wanted to know about sperm…..

* Average volume of semen per ejaculation: 1-2 teaspoons
* Average number of times a man will ejaculate in his lifetime: 7,200
* Average total amount of lifetime ejaculate: 18 quarts
* Average speed of ejaculation: 28 miles per hour
* Its muscle drives nature’s only known rotary-joint. The tail SCREWS, not whips. (no pun)
* Average number of calories in a teaspoon of semen: 7
* Average duration of orgasm: 4 seconds
* Average number of sperm cells in the ejaculate of a healthy man: 200 to 600 million
* Distance sperm travels to fertilize an egg: 3-4 inches
* Sperm lifespan: 2.5 months from development to ejaculation

and more:

For the “average” man, the ejaculate contains over 80 million sperm. In addition to the little wiggly things, semen contains (taken from several web sites):
* water
* ascorbic acid (vitamin C)
* blood-group antigens
* calcium (yes, just like milk!)
* chlorine (add your own little contribution to cleanliness!)
* cholesterol (Is this the “bad cholesterol” or “good cholesterol”?)
* citric acid, creatine, deoxyribonucleic acid, fructose, glutathione, hyaluronidase, inositol, lactic acid, magnesium, nitrogen, phosphorus and potassium (what do you know, these are good for fertilization too!)
* prostaglandins (fatty acids that, while not a hormone, perform hormone-like functions)
* purine, pyrimidine, pyruvic acid
* sodium (good to have, especially if you’ve been sweating a lot)
sorbitol, spermidine, spermine
* vitamin B12 and zinc (you would think it’s a multivitamin)

(all according to the Research Guide to Bodily Fluids (Paul Spinard, 1994)….

’bout time.

Finally on cd20 I believe I am ovulating! Thank you clomid!! It is so crazy that one can get so excited about this. I never had to go thru any measures w/ my girls. I don’t get it at all. I’ve heard it said that it will happen in it’s time but I don’t buy that crap for a minute. I had it, it died and I want it back.

Wow, thats the first time I’ve acknowledged that really. It is soooooo much easier “pretending” I was never pregnant, never lost it, never had a d&c. I’m doing alright but I’ll never forget the emotions, tears, angst I felt no matter how hard I try. It happened. It forever changed me. It’s about time I start being honest with myself.

totally random randomness:

Swans are the only birds with penises.

img_2543.jpg

I’m sure that is one fact you did not know, nor did you want to know. Hey, I am here to educate…..

holy hot flashes, batman!

I thought I was in the clear w/ the clomid side effects.. Evidently, I was incorrect. I get been so hot I almost sweat. My body temp is actually up like 2 degrees more this cycle than normal. And I am getting headaches daily for the last week. I was hoping to ovulated by the doc’s projected time frame but apparently my body is stubborn. 8 days after the last pill and still no O. I’m wondering if 50mgs isn’t enough and the doc may need to up it. Of course then the side effects will be terrible…..

the CLOMID chronicals……..

Well, a new chapter begins. I have successfully defeated my doctors stubbornness and he has written me a 3 month prescription  for 50mg of clomid. I began taking it on cd5 (yesterday) and so far so good, and by that I mean not side effects. We will see how much that changes after the next subsequent pills. Hopefully this takes me from my not so normal 40-60 day cycles to maybes a normal say 28 day cycle or so. We will soon find out…………

I liked this. Thought I would post it here.

“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be” (Psalm 139:13-16, NIV).

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